7 Habits to Raise Well-Adjusted Kids
Updated: Jan 4, 2019
Hello mommies of the World! If you are on this page, reading this article, you are one the greatest MOM already, because you are interested in giving the best to you Child
Very often, my friends and relatives are asking me how my girls are so nice and good behaving. Karina, my older one is five, and Katiusha is three. People always say: "You'll see when you'll have a BOY." - I wish I have one =), but really, why some kids are nice and good, while others are noisy and naughty?
In the reality, all kids are PERFECT! There are just simple, little things that are missing, or needs to be managed. And we, the PARENTS, are here to help our "angels" out.
During my FIVE-YEARS motherhood time (and it's not a lot, just make me feel old :), I've done many mistakes in educating and raising my kids. But because everyone does, I just want to get better, to know more, and to try harder, on growing my kids correctly. Now, I want to share with you thirteen things that might help you organize your day and your child. Here there are:
1. Early bedtimes
Sleeping is very important for healthy brain development. It helps kids process the day’s moments and learn from them. Kids’ brains are continuously developing and creating new neural connections. Sleeping help them support this connections.
Unfortunately, nowadays, more and more kids are used to go to sleep late (especially mine). Help your child get the sleep he/she needs! I personally did this mistake myself, letting my kids go to sleep when they want (also, due to our active lifestyle also). Now, I am trying to correct this, but it is hard.
Hugs are more powerful than you might think. Not only kids, but also adults need hugs. Give you child at least twelve hugs a day (by Virginia Satir, known family therapist), to show him/her that you care an love. Hugging releases oxytocin - "the love hormone", which is very important for our bodies, and also leads to growth stimulation.
When Karina, my first child, was born, I learnt what “skin to skin” is (in my country we don't practice it): the nursed unwrapped the newborn and put her under the blanket, on my naked chest. Strange, but Baby Karina relaxed and felt asleep quickly. Same think was done with the dad, and it also worked perfectly. The powerful connection and energy that our bodies eliminate has no limits. Try it, and use it as often as possible. And not only toward your kids ;)
This is a learnt behavior, and not something that we are born with. It means, to “walk in another person’s shoes", or, try to put yourself in another person's place. New research shows that empathy plays a major role in predicting kids’ happiness and success.
Dr. Michele Borba, a psychologist and parenting expert says: “Empathy promotes kindness, prosocial behaviors, and moral courage, and it is an effective antidote to bullying, aggression, prejudice and racism."
Talk to your child about emotions. Try to "verbalize" his/her emotions: "You are really angry right now, and because you're angry, you don't feel like cleaning you room", or "You are so happy today, that you shine and smile all day long.". Also, speak about YOUR feeling, even if they are not the best: "I feel upset, because there are no mo tickets left", but it is important to "share" it on a nice tone :) Talking about other people's feeling is also helping you child DEVELOP EMPATHY: "She looks frustrated", or "He looks sad". The main idea is to teach your child to care about other people's feelings.
4. Playful parents
Children don’t say, ‘I had a hard day […] Can we talk?’ They say, ‘Will you play with me?’” – Lawrence Cohen, Ph. D. We don’t reserve much room in our lives for fun and games anymore. Our days are filled with stress, obligations and hard work, and without realizing it, we are more disconnected from our kids than ever. Play is the work of the child and to connect with our kids, we must play with our kids.
Taking the time to put down our phones and realize that our kids need. us. to. play. It sounds silly, but all the mindless funny cat videos and random Tasty recipes will still be three years later; our children won’t. This type of engagement will bring you emotionally closer to you child.
5. Outdoor times
Not only the fresh air is good, but also, interacting with others, as well as with the Nature. “Movement through active free play, especially outside, improves everything from creativity to academic success to emotional stability. Kids who don’t get to do this can have so many issues, from problems with emotional regulation—for example, they cry at the drop of a hat—to trouble holding a pencil, to touching other kids using too much force.” – Meryl Davids Landau, author.
You child is never too young to do chores. It is the right time. They can put back their toys, water the flowers, wash a plate (may need re-washing afterwards), and so on. Research indicates that those children who do have a set of chores have higher self-esteem, are more responsible, and are better able to deal with frustration and delay gratification, all of which contribute to greater success in school.
7. Reducing screen-time
I opt for NO-Screen-time, but in our days, it may be impossible. If so, just limit it as much as possible. Every child around is watching into his gadget. In restaurants, at home, even in parks and playgrounds kids are “zombied” by the screens. This is an easy way for parents to relax and have some quit time. But in a long time, we are ruining their brains and possibly, lives, by doing so:
“In order for the brain’s neural networks to develop normally during the critical period, a child needs specific stimuli from the outside environment. These are rules that have evolved over centuries of human evolution, but—not surprisingly—these essential stimuli are not found on today’s tablet screens. When a young child spends too much time in front of a screen and not enough getting required stimuli from the real world, her development becomes stunted.” – Dr. Liraz Margalit.
Look for alternatives. I can suggest some IQ developing toys that are pocket size, and easy to carry around: IQ toy 1, IQ toy 2, IQ toy 3, IQ toy 4 and other REAL puzzles and Lego's.
Also, they are not that expensive, but if you have no budget, you can do some toys and cards yourself. - YouTube will help you. And, because it is one of the biggest problem that I ,personally, see in today's children, here is a link on "HOW TO END SCREEN-TIME WITHOUT STRUGGLE" by The Military Wife and Mom.
Next SIX Habits to be continued - too much information for one time reading ;)
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